Out of Control

So this is supposed to be an anonymous blog, but a small handful of you know who I really am...and you also know the circumstances that my husband and I have faced over the past month in our youth ministry (thank you so much for your prayers). To recap briefly, basically there were some key leadership changes 10 months ago in our church organization [yada yada yada] and almost a month ago he was forced to turn in his resignation. Not a good place to be when you have a mortgage and other bills to pay, a car that is on its last leg, and a 2 year-old looking to you for sustenance. I have to say, it's a frustrating place to be...we loved our church and were so devastated by our circumstances and how everything went down. It feels like a really bad dream that we're trying to wake up from, and sometimes it feels as though I'm suffocating trying to make sense of it all. There are so many contradictions; there is no sense to be made of it in the natural.

 

Even with all of the crazy details of our seemingly out of control situation, we know that God led us to this place, knowing how everything would end. Am I still frustrated knowing that? Yes...I have to be completely honest. I am. I did not want to leave our church organization which we loved being a part of and I don't understand why things had to end the way that they did. But I do know that our being totally out of control means GOD is COMPLETELY IN CONTROL. And for now, I just have to rest in knowing that God has ALWAYS been faithful to us in the past...I have no doubt that he will continue to be faithful to us in our future.