And, well, here it is. My first post. And it's gonna be a bit of a doozy (does anyone use that word anymore??) ...
So, it's happening again. My husband and I have been involved in ministry since before we got married, in full-time ministry since 2004, and throughout all that have definitely had our ups and downs along the way. This week has definitely been a "down" week for us. After a year and a half of the amazing church we've recently been a part of, "it" is happening again. Heartbreak. In every sense of the word. Feels more like divorce.
In 2004, my husband and I worked for a not-so-healthy church. Of course, being wet behind the ears in full-time ministry, we were eager to take the plunge into whatever it was God was leading us into. About 6 months into it, we realized something was "not quite right." One by one, people kept leaving--key people in our church. We soon understood why.
Over the course of the 2-1/2 years we endured there, we went through it all. We were belittled, yelled at, blamed, misunderstood (constantly), mistreated, unappreciated...you name it--and all for a lifestyle just above poverty level. And yet, we knew God brought us there so we remained until God finally (and crazily against our will) pushed us out. Oh yes, we saw it coming, but, frankly, we were so attached to our students (did I mention that we were youth pastors?) that we were trying to delay what God was inevitably trying to do. Even though we were in a miserable environment with a really, really bad leader, it was devastating to us. My husband felt like a failure. We missed our students because we were not allowed to contact them (though they frequently initiated contact with us). We were not allowed to serve in ministry within 50 miles of that church. And we just bought a new home, had a new baby, and were left without an income because we were both on staff there. We wondered how we would make it.
Miraculously enough, God provided for us during the 6 months that we were unemployed (as if He wouldn't!!!). Every week, people would call us or come over and give us large sums of money...$600, $900, $1,000, $1,500!!! We even received money in the mail from people we never even knew!! That time was and is still so precious to our hearts. My husband was able to spend real quality time with his newly born son...something he didn't have the luxury of doing before because of the infinite hours spent doing ministry work (we are really not bitter about the long hours...we knew what we were getting into in regard to that aspect of our jobs---it was just nice to have that extra special bonding time is all I'm saying).
Six months after our initial devastation, God provided the most amazing opportunity for my husband. He opened a door for him to go to work for one of the most innovative churches in the country. With having so little full-time ministry experience, we were totally blown away at God's favor and God's goodness to us. It was EXACTLY what and where we needed to be.
We were at this awesome church for over a year and a half. But the last 10 months got weird. Key staffing changes brought with it changes in the climate of the work environment and, gradually, in staff morale. The fun, relaxed environment where they were able to be themselves and "work hard, play hard" slowly faded into a distant memory. And as an outsider looking in, it was written all over their faces: most of them were beginning to resent it.
The short of it is that eventually the soured working environment had completely frozen my husband's own morale. It wasn't long before he and others clashed with the new leadership. Now, before you think this is a church-bashing post, let me stop right now and say that you are wrong. This is not a church-bashing post. I am not bashing anybody...just examining some weak areas in church leadership that seem to never get addressed anywhere. This is a blog on leadership...bad leadership and all that it entails.
I'll continue my story within the next couple of days...
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